Sunday, 7 November 2010

Welcome home.

Wow, it has been a while! Procrastination is a skill I am very proficient in. Anyway. This post is not an update, that shall arrive a little later, but a means by which to share a slightly morbid story I came up with in the early hours of the morning and which has no real purpose in life, save winging its way across the interweb into your eyes :) Please share comments if you care to do so, though this isn't really my normal style so much, and do not worry for my safety, it's all in character (as a man, oddly enough). Oh, and writing might be a bit dodgy, I was half asleep.

I looked at the vista below me, mist writhing like a hundred thousand slim grey bodies twisting in death's final throes, and reached with my soul into the empty space where my heart used to be. Nothing, bar the dull, aching emptiness. So I took my final step forward.
There is no point in life without you, so I closed my eyes to picture you before me, lily white arms reaching out and eyes bright with the life you ought to have. I dreamed I was walking toward you in our small kitchen- cosy, you had called it playfully- to kiss you briefly before making you a mug of tea, hot black nettle tea, your favourite. I could see you there, hair so dark most thought it black (I know better), lips pink as rosebuds in the morning, a light blue cotton dress with slender straps and bare legs, bare arms, bare hands and feet and neck and smile.
As I stepped into your embrace I did not feel the warm air of the kitchen as the kettle boiled or the gentle touch of your skin on mine, but I would not open my eyes so you remained before me even as I opened my arms to enfold you in my love and fell forward to appear as though I were flying for only the briefest instance, and it was you as you were, rather than you as you are, all pale flesh and dress and eyes. Not glassy stare and red smashed chest. Not scarlet mouth. Not dead. I defied death as I saw you as you ought to be.
But I could not yet feel you. Your silky smooth hair tickling against the underside of my chin as you curled against me, safe from the world. Death would have both of us, or neither. I refused to look at the ground beneath me, nothing but sky separating me from it and you, and stretched as far as I could toward you.
My fingertips brushed against your petal-soft cheek at last, and then I hit the ground.

Friday, 2 July 2010


It would be very nice to feel all accomplished and say 'ta-da! Here is Kristof, the Octopuss!' but unfortunately, I can't =[ . Even though all my sewing work is complete, for some reason it is IMPOSSIBLE (apparently) to buy cats' eyes safety eyes for toys which are larger than 20mm. And so, I have a poor blind kittypus to look after :(

And I was trying to work out the cost of a Babypuss because I've got the ingredients for one, but the man at Surrey Foam changes his prices all of the time- they're different from the ones he advertises and he undercharges which, whilst being good, makes it very confusing to work out how much a single beasty costs >.< it's okay though, because his shop is a treasure trove filled with strange pretty things and it's very interesting to look at and very reasonably priced, even though you can't work out what each thing costs. He did adding up on a packet of 16mm safety eyes and none of it seems to make any sense, but never mind.
Furthermore, I've also made the mistake of the impetuous crafter and not used patterns >.< I really do not help myself. So while Kristof certainly looks impressive I'm not sure how I'm to fashion his sister, Emmeline... I worked out how I made his body in the first place but am having issues with sizes, because a4 cut into a square makes the size of a babypuss and... now I'm confused, again. So very first-time-ish. I'll get there in the end :D

And, Kristof will be PERFECT when his eyes arrive, and he was my Very First Attempt at an Octopuss. So I'm rather proud of that (or at least, I will be. Or at least, Doctor Steinfelt [!!] will be.) Oooh! Will also create a blog for my business when it exists and I've got enough creatures and am old enough for an online shop with paypal etc. So while there are difficulties... The end result is AWESOME.

Shall post pictures of my fluffy Cephalopod friend when he can see :)

Saturday, 26 June 2010


I wonder if cavepeople had fashions?
Like, 'Omigosh, oak leaves are SO last season.'

Friday, 11 June 2010

Lots and Lots of Lovely Things

That isn't the number of lovely things, because Tulip Tree Seeds are still not very lovely, but rather annoying. So, that's 4,855 annoying things.
Guess what? I am now Old! It was my birthday in the half term and I had a nice time and some nice cake and an old book and a yellow newt named Badger, as well as my exceedingly beautiful Hofner called Joe.
And, and, and, I've completed lots of tests! Woo, I shall never have to sit through and RE AS lesson EVER EVER again! NO MORE MISS JOHN! WOOOOOO!
And, and, and, my USA 1910-1929 paper went 'swimmingly', huzzah!
And, and, and, now it's time for a slightly boring bit... All of the stuff posted in my blog belongs to me unless stated otherwise so if you steal it, you shall have to face Consequences, the naughty step being only one of them. (Just a precaution, I've got some funkeh ideas I'd like to share without them being stolen.)
So, boring bit over;

Guess what even more!
I made an attempt at crocheting which failed just a little bit, then tried tried tried again and it's going a bit better, if a tad boring-ly. I prefer hobbies in which I can get something finished quickly, through a bit of sudden work when I feel like it, like when I made that tiara in a few hours because I was in the mood.

Which is why sewing creatures is nicer. I've got some thoughts all ready and am daydreaming about turning them into a lovely little bit of reality!
Okay, so my ideas are;
One: The Octopuss. An octopus-like creature but with ears and whiskers, and an ever-so-polite smile.
Two: The Monkette. A monkey-ish beast.
Three: (I know I shouldn't have favourites, but come on, look at the name of it!) The Stragglemuffin. A very adorable fluffy muffin with a tail and big eyes, and a smile.
Four: (my other notafavourite) the Grumpcake. A cupcake with a face that looks like this; >.< and a tail going in the opposite direction to the Stragglemuffin's.

And there are plenty more to come! (but I have to make some, first.)

Thursday, 27 May 2010

"i can't" is not an excuse.

In a way, we are ALL anarchists, in the true sense of the word.
No one tells us to obey the laws of gravity, and yet we do.
Therefore, we are technically part of an anarchist society, as are dogs, camels, toads and other beings which adhere to the rule that What Goes Up, Must Come Down.
The only thing that doesn't is the Secret Treehouse.

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Conciousness? Nope, don't have one, sorry.

I'm attempting a stream of conciousness post! Yep- a chance to see inside my own head, filled as it is with a soupy gloop of words.
Words and glitter!
Pink glitter, I expect. I need a neurosurgeon to tell though. Like on Kingdom Hospital when the guy's head was full of ants, it was so disgusting, and-
Wait. I hadn't started the post yet.

There's a little sparrow on the bird feeder and it's swinging back and forth whilst eating seeds, but because it's moving the seeds keep falling because it's moving quite briskly, so its companion is sitting on the floor beneath the feeder and eating all the seeds as they fall- *warbles the lion king song circle of life*
Oh look, Mrs Foxy has strolled through the garden! Watch out floorsparrow, she has a taste for birds!
Like the poor little dove the other day, although it is only natural, but look at the floorsparrow's dancing hopping skipping feet jumping around as he catches the seeds which fall like rain from above and the fox doesn't even bother to look; she is too interested in basking in the golden light.

The sunshine is so bright and warm today, lots of people have been tanning which is kind of disgusting in a way because it's delibarately cooking ones' skin, yuck. Catching the rays. Only if you were to actually catch some rays you'd need an aquarium to store them in. And they'd not be very happy about that. Plus, you couldn't catch them from the sky like you do with sunshine, although it would be quite entertaining if you DID have rays in the sky that you could catch with a butterfly net, although then the sky might be filled with water because they have Gills and therefore need to breathe underwater, so we'd have to wear diving suits whenever we went outside and carry oxygen tanks, and seeing as I walk to school I'd end up Really Really Muscley because I'd have to carry a great big oxygen tank and then maybe a spare one for lunch/break on the field and maybe another to walk home (because I don't know if you can turn it off when you aren't using it.)

And mightn't the grass get all wet and drown? And would the air get all stagnant, because the puddles outside go stagnant if left unevaporated for too long, and they smell Foul. Only, if the sky was made of water, the sea might be made of air, so we might all be MerPeople and not Humans, and all the other animals might live under the sea too. And they might have developed fins in order to swim through the sea-air. So you'd get cats with fishtails, and dogs with fishtails, and elephants with fishtails too.

I wonder what an elephant's fishtail would look like?

And, I will end my post on this note. Lucky you- you lived in my glitterfuelled brain for about 3 minutes (which is how long it took me to think this all up) and hopefully you enjoyed the experience, even if you didn't totally understand everything ^.^ although maybe now, you can understand where the seemingly nonsensical/random thoughts come from, and how they find their way to my mouth so I may speak them. Or should it be ways? I wonder how much a thought weighs-
Goodbye (for now.)

Wisdom of the Day

Here, have a complimentary piece of wisdom- might it be a metaphor? Or perhaps a simple fact? Or even a small pile of nonsense?
Sometimes you can't make the sky blue, no matter how much painting you do.
But sometimes if you're lucky enough you don't need to work; it turns blue all by itself.

Enjoy :)